Tuesday, 12 November 2024

BTS: why speculate (and dramatize) when real-life is SO MUCH BETTER!

Speculation is a very human thing, I think. I think we all love to speculate and wonder about the things we don't know and the things that feel strange to us. It's a way for us to understand and comprehend what might otherwise feel incomprehensible. And we're sense-making creatures, right? We always try to make sense of what goes on around us. It's probably a survival tactic, really. If we know what is happening around us, we're also better equipped to deal with it - and to assess whether it feels safe or not. And safety is the most important aspect out of all! If something doesn't feel safe, then we're likely to stay away from it, to protect ourselves. Or at least be on guard around it, watching it closely while we gather more information.

I could expand on this topic, but that's not really why I'm here. My point is that I really do understand why people like to speculate (and sometimes dramatize) about the members' lives. I just don't agree with it. I don't subscribe to that type of "fan lifestyle" for lack of a better phrase. Because I really truly believe that the members' actual lives, personalities and work are A LOT more interesting than anything fictional or otherwise made-up.

Isn't that why we're here? because of their sincerity and vulnerability? not because of their well-kept secrets or hidden parallel lives or whatever else you may want to believe. I get why it's tempting to write fanfiction and spread rumours about secret wives and children, it's like designing your own version of the truth - you get to spice it up to your liking. And I'll say that I'm all for fanfiction when it comes to fictional stories like Harry Potter or Twilight or Game of Thrones, because those stories are set in stone. You'll always be able to go back to the original text and thus be able to differentiate it from the storylines that fans write.

But the members aren't part of some fictional universe, however fairytale-like their career may sound to you. They're real people with real lives, and they may have gotten mostly used to living in the public eye, but as Namjoon said in a Live last year: "guys, it's MY life." They're entitled to make their own decisions without their fan's approval - especially when it comes to their personal lives and things like military service. And we should be supporting these decisions, if they choose to share them with us - and not attempt to interfere or change their minds about certain things. The same way that you wouldn’t want someone else to interfere in your life, however much they may care about you and support you. It's YOUR life, right? Meaning it's YOUR decision whether to enlist in June, October or December. It's also the government's decision, but you know what I mean... We were all waiting for that notice to come out for Namjoon, but as he was working on his album, he chose to postpone all the way till December.

One of the many good things about them growing older though, is how their reactions to fan comments or fan behaviour they don’t like has changed. In the past they'd mostly ignore them all expect Yoongi (and sometimes Jin), now though they don’t shy away from calling out these comments/ behaviour and stating their honest opinions about them (however unpopular they may be). I LOVE that! And I think we're going to see more of that when they come back, and as they continue to grow older and change. This parasocial sphere is a fascinating place to be and observe, but boundaries are needed here as much as any other place. And if some ARMYs aren't ready to respect their privacy, then I don’t think those people understand what it REALLY means to be ARMY. It's not about idolising the guys as something other or superior, it's about equal partnership and helping each other "to human" in the best way possible. Yes, I agree that the guys are incredible and they're sharing so much with us - but that doesn’t make them your property.

I seem to be veering off course though.. Sorry, this is a weirdly difficult discipline...  

Clearly, there's a lot to talk about here - with boundaries and when to state your opinion as a fan. And I don’t have any clean-cut answers and neither I believe do any of the guys. But what I definitely would like to state very boldly and very loudly is that THE GUYS ARE HUMAN and just please behave accordingly. You may not know them personally, but they're still able to read your comments and in theory they're still able to see everything else you may be sharing online in public spheres. We know that the guys monitor, right? We know that JK likes to watch fan covers of his songs, we know that Tae loves his ARMY vlogs, we now know that Hobi read fan-letters while serving, we know that Jimin/ Namjoon /JK watched the fan-made song celebrating their 10 years because of live comments, we know that Jimin's moon-phases tattoo were inspired by an ARMY artwork... They pay as much attention to us as we do to them! Stan an artist that stans you back, right? And please treat them the same you would a real-life friend! They've never asked for anything else.

Also can we not dig deep into possibly known personal facts like JK's big fancy house? I've seen channels that are dedicated to keep you updated on the progression of the building work? Again, what happened to privacy? He has NEVER once stated that he's having a house built for himself. And why do you think that is? Probably because he doesn’t want to share that fact (if it is even a real fact to share). There's a weird thing that seems to exist within our fandom (maybe it exists within all fandoms?) which goes something like "the more you know, the better a fan you are" or something like that. I think some ARMYs really take that literally, "the more juicy personal details I can find about these guys, the more dedicated I am as a fan." And these ARMYs are ready to go to ALL OUT on finding out facts about the guys, through literally ANY means necessary. Again, I'm not saying that this house-thing IS a fact. I've chosen not to care about it till JK one day (if ever) chooses to share it with us. But if it were a fact, then why do these ARMYs feel comfortable and confident in sharing it with us? THIS is much more important to me than whether JK is actually building a house somewhere in Seoul. And the same goes for the people who kept spreading the supposed "fact" that Namjoon has a wife and kids somewhere ? I see the initial joy in dramatizing reality and filling out the gaps yourself. But how can you not see that this is more so harming the fandom than it is making it better? Real ones know what's what. But I don’t think it's doing any good to be spreading gossip around as facts - or even as pretend reality. I am aware though that it has garnered a sort of subculture within the fandom...

The very worst part though is that the guys have built their image and this community on trust and sincerity. In their songs they talk about the very real world and the very real lives that we all live. They comment on the very real society, on political disputes, social inequality, the digital modern age and how complicated human relationships are all around - among many other topics. Thus it feels like a poor way to repay them with exaggerated truths and gossip. They've always tried to help us live in this very complicated world, and I think the majority of us have wanted to show our gratitude through honest and sincere feedback as well as streams, likes, merch etc. 

Maybe I'll change my mind one day.. And to be fair I don't mind the harmless ones, little fictional worlds full of Jimin-chicks and Jin-alpacas. Those are just cute. It's the ones that tries to convince us that the guys are not what they seem, that they live crazy paralleled lives in secret. And that you absolutely HAVE to follow their channel to be updated on the Real News about the members.

Please don't treat the members as fictional characters ARMY. they're as real as you and me 💜

 

Monday, 4 November 2024

Being ARMY in 2024 has not been easy

I think I'm gonna divert a little today from the topic I was initially planning to continue. I've seen a couple of videos surrounding the same general theme of what it feels like to be ARMY in this time - especially this year when k-media and haters/antis seems to have doubled down on their smear campaigns and hate trains: funeral wreaths at HYBE, anti-SUGA digital movements posing as ARMY, MHJ the manipulative ex-ADOR CEO and her endless trail of lies now dragging taehyung into her already muddy pool. Then we have the constant battle between the solo stans who increasingly spreads more and more toxic comments in an attempt to split the members and pit them against each other -- and the passionate OT7 ARMYs who desperately wants us to stream EVERYTHING equally at all times and vote for the guys at any given opportunity. On top of that a lot of popular and beloved ARMY youtube channels seems to have paused their regular posting schedules around the time the boys started enlisting - this is probably the case for other platforms too (twitter, instagram etc.)

This is a LOT! It makes absolute sense if you feel stressed out, lost and overwhelmed by all of this. And have maybe even forgotten how to get back to your comfortable, safe and joyful purple universe. How did we even get here in the first place? And will all of THIS just continue till we get them back in june next year?

The answer I believe is "manifold" (I just learned a new word today!): many and various.

Yes, it seems that all the negativity and hate will continue throughout the next (but also remaining) seven months. MHJ seems to have intentionally chosen this year to unfold her evil villiany-like schemes to infiltrate HYBE and take down Bangtan, precisely because the majority of the members aren't here. And the haters and solo stans will likely also continue hating and attempting to split the boys apart because that is what they do. See sources for more information on the MHJ drama: "seoulite tv" + "asian entertainment and culture" both on youtube.

SO how do we focus our purpled ARMY energies at a time like this? It is completely understandable to
be exhausted and drained from all the stress and worries this year has brought us. If you're OG ARMY or have been with the guys for many years, you know that they've been through hell before - actually many times over especially during 2015-2016-2017. Smear campaigns, individual threats, targeted hate from other fandoms, prejudice and racism are just some of the things the boys have experienced throughout their career. And when they come back next year they'll likely get more attention globally than ever before: stadium tour, billboard number 1 and grammy nominations included. And they're arguably more famous currently than they've ever been. The hate isn't going anywhere, they're too big for that to be the case. But hopefully the OT7 comeback will take out MHJ for good, if she's still around when that time comes.

Instead of attempting to shut down the haters, we should be loud about our excitement for the boys - be loud about our love and support for all seven members. And here I'm echoing once again, because of course I'm not the only one who recognises that in times of struggle, you resort to focusing on the good in people - the good in you and in everyone around you. Let's focus on what brings us all together, and not what splits us apart. Let's remember how we got here in the first place and why we're still sticking around. 

For me it's community, a strong moral compass and a sincere mindset and attitude towards life. This I believe is at the very heart of the BANGTAN-ARMY equation. This is why I'm still here, because I truly believe that we strive to bring out the best of each other - and of the boys. This is what they started more than a decade ago - with their lyrics and messages. They were commenting and criticizing the korean society with the aim of making it better: making it more just, more accepting and less pressurerising. They might have been young and seemingly naive and inexperienced within the music industry, but they had so many good and interesting things to say even then. They fostered a community with a strong moral compass from the get-go. They did not set out to fix their own arrogant attitude and adjust their values once they achieved success and wealth like some popstars do. They started out that way and they've grown alongside that strong moral compass ever since - adjusting it to their liking whenever they deemed it appropriate, but never to accommodate arrogance, narcissim or greed. 

They started out with nothing. They had a very skilled and smart CEO and producer who were guiding them along on their path, but their label were so close to bankruptcy that they might've never debuted, if luck hadn't been on their side. They had very few opportunities to perform on television and promote their group in the early years, as the label didn't have the name and resources that huge labels like SM, JYP and YG had. Their story is that of a fairytale's - an underdog rising up, a proper cinderella story. 

AND YET they chose to sing and rap about the world they were living in as honest and unfiltered as their label would allow them to be. This did not quarantee success back then. On top of that they were breaking down the shiny barriers between them and their fans by posting normal pictures of them cooking and hanging out in their dorm. This was also unheard of within the k-pop industry at the time. The shiny images were (and still is) everything to the kpop idol world. Bangtan have followed many of the expected standards and requirements of this industry, but they have also broken barriers and set new standards for the groups that followed them. 

Point is that we really should focus ALL our purpled energies on the many wonderful things that the Bangtan Boys have brought into our lives! Let's not get eaten up by hate and jealousy whereever it comes from. Bangtan's success is THEIR loss and OUR gain! 💜

Spread their beautiful and meaningful messages by whichever means you prefer: streaming their songs, compiling video clips, drawing images, writing fan songs, performing their choreos, participating in the dance challenges, joining events and concerts, donating to related causes - YOU NAME IT! the list is endless. Streaming is important yes, but it is not the only way to show your support. 

APOBANGPO!  <3  


Thursday, 31 October 2024

The bond between artists and fans - public versus private #1

Okay, lets talk more about the bond between artist and fan - specifically privacy and boundaries. This is a really interesting topic as kpop idols set their boundaries very differently depending on their personal preferences - some share almost everything about themselves while others have very strict boundaries between their professional identity and their personal identity. As an ARMY this along with many other topics is always fascinating to discuss as the Bangtan Boys also continue to set new standards in this arena - namely JK going live at 4 AM without notifying any managers. Now I haven't double-checked, but it seemed unprecedented within the industry when he did this last year - I definitely saw the Seventeen boys discussing this in shock and Mingyu laughing at JK in disbelief. 

When talking about privacy towards fans and the public, I would divide it into three categories: social media (including live streams), private homes and information shared through conversation/interviews. 

With the era of smartphones and the internet, we are all facing this question of how much to share online. I remember when my generation used to post all sorts of personal non-filtered photos on facebook. It used to be a tradition that you'd post an ugly/weird-looking photo of your friend on their birthday as a joke. But things quickly changed, now you rarely see people posting intentionally weird or ugly-looking photos on social media. Instagram became a place of filters where perfection thrives and nice flawless-looking skin gets thousands of likes - though I'm starting to see the opposite happen too. It's almost like we've seen our fair share of perfect food shots and perfect holidays and whatnot, and now we want authenticity: what do new sleep-deprived parents actually look like two months in? what do beauty influencers actually properly look like without products on their face? This is what we want. We don't want to see a baby sleeping peacefully in a cot with the dad all proud and joyful on the side. We want the nitty-gritty! This is the actual superpower of social media! It's not perfecting images on our phone and then sharing them with the world for everyone to get wildly jalous, though of course we enjoy that too. No, it's for everyone to realise that they are not alone in their struggling - whatever struggle that might be. Life is really properly hard and ridiculous sometimes, but it always helps to know that your neighboor or even a mum on the other side of the planet is going through the same as you. Humans need humans. We know this. We are social creatures and so we need affirmation. That's just how goes. 

Anyway, back to my purpled world. Lets talk about the bangtan boys and how they navigate these boundaries.

Now, I've had this thought ever since I was baby-ARMY (the period where I was getting to know them) - that the rapline shares a LOT of personal details with us through their lyrics. Coming from a hiphop background and being part of that underground community before stepping into the idol-spotlight, Namjoon and Yoongi had already been drawing from their own lives in their song writing. And Hobi quickly learned from the two of them, drawing inspiration from his own street dance background with the beats and rhythm. The idol industry typically does not require you to write your own songs, the label will have song writers attached or have partnered up with experienced writers and producers who undertakes this task. And then the idols will perform the songs given to them with a concept attached that runs through the choreography, fashion and staging. This of course has been challenged by many groups nowadays who does partake in writing and producing - but there's still plenty groups who does not have either writing or producing credits in their songs. And both of these have been normalised to the point that it doesn't necessarily need to be stated by the group themselves - as long as fans know the extend to which the group participates in the song making-process, that is usually all that matters to the members. But this is a tangent, sorry. 

Point is that the bangtan rapline shares a lot of very personal thoughts and feelings through their lyrics, but you may be less likely to see them share the same personal details in conversations or through live streams. The opposite almost used to be the case with the vocal line, particularly the maknae line (Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook). Jin is sort of a category in and off himself, but I'll get to that. As the vocal line didn't used to write their own songs, they at most would be discussing the topic in detail of their solo songs with the credited writers - maybe adding certain words they wanted included (like Tae with Inner Child). But they weren't in quite the same position as the rapline. However if you go back and watch the live streams the maknae line used to do back in 2016/ 2017/ 2018, there's a lot of personal information getting shared with ARMY. It's almost fascinating to compare the tour lives they used to do with the solo lives we got last year in 2023. Now this bangtan era we're in currently is very unusual, as we're simultaneously seeing the boys' solo careers unfold while waiting for them to complete their military service one by one. So maybe a comparison isn't really fair. But you could see them changing and adjusting their behaviour according to the context and time period last year. While JK was very much breaking all the barriers he possibly could last year on his live streams (sleeping, cooking, house chores, boxing etc.), Tae seemed to be craving the connection with ARMY but didn't really know what to do once he went live and so often ended it after 5 minutes of greeting. Jimin being Jimin suddenly seemed nervous on live streams, and so he would either do an office live with a particular activity planned or hesitantly converse with ARMY from his house. None of their behaviour was strange or shoking to ARMY, but it was clear that with the adjusting of the exterior framework their live streams also became new spaces to navigate - which was interesting to observe. 

I should mention though that once they feel confident in their role towards ARMY - and are also supported by their brothers, their live streams light up and they seem as casual and comfortable as ever (even in this Chapter 2-era). Their Busan live stream in October of 2022 was very much like that (JK, Jimin, Tae and Hobi). Joking around while sharing a bowl of ramyeon and looking as grateful as ever with the presence of soooo many ARMYs at their concert a couple of hours prior. THIS is the bangtan that we love the very most, although of course it would have been even better if the remaining three members were also there. You sense the very same sincerity that they emanate on stage - which is at the heart of anything and everything these guys do in the name of B T S. It is truly incredible how they're able to be this sincere with an audience of several millions on these live streams. And this feeling isn't lost when they do solo live streams, they may seem a little more awkward or guarded - but you know that the intent is genuine, you know that they randomly went live because they wanted to connect with us. And you know that they always try to answer the questions in the live chat as honestly as possible. 

Right before they entered this era we're in now, which the boys like to refer to as "Chapter 2", they got their own individual instagram accounts. And during the covid years they bought their own places, which meant saying goodbye to 10+ years of living together in various dorms. Both of these were also new spaces to navigate in terms of the public/private debate. And again the members have dealt with these very differently. Hobi was the first to properly take to instagram - we all know he's obsessed with aesthetics and fashion and so it wasn't really a surprise to see him regularly upload his polaroid-styled posts. The remaining members seemed more hesitant with their posts, mainly sticking with the professionally taken concert shots - which nobody would ever question. 

But slowly and surely Namjoon seemed to find his place on the platform too. He has had a particular interest in visual arts for a while and so he would post tons of photos of paintings and sculptures from recent museum visits. Soon there were articles going around of him being a new "art patron" as ARMY made sure that his posts were heavily liked and shared - getting the attention from various art institutions. This was another interesting development that I attempted to keep up with as baby-ARMY, the accounts were made in the beginning of 2022 and I started watching them in november of 2021. Namjoon's interest in visual arts had really started back in 2017 or 18 when they were touring the US and he suddenly decided to visit a museum in Chicago I believe (?). In this world he found refuge, encouragement and inspiration - just like he did (and still does) in the world of music. But unlike the music world he didn't have to compete or survey the industry in quite the same manner as you somewhat have to as a musician. He could let go of his jalousy and solely focus on the art before him. With my own interest and passion for the visual arts world this fact about Namjoon made me even more curious about him as a person. But I believe that it wasn't quite till he started explicitly supporting visual artists, galleries and museums that he started getting invited to exhibitions, art-centric podcasts and art fairs. Now two years later he has very much stuck to this "format" of sharing his museum visits, bike rides and temple visits. We all know that Namjoon is very fond of (and I believe very much in need of) a quiet and simple life style, when he is not touring around the world or making music in his studio. He has a brain that works faster than basically any human I've ever come across - he calculates everything and sees everything. This makes him an incredible leader both of BTS and of ARMY. But this is also a burden that he has to carry around. Being able to see everything is both a blessing and a curse. We know this to be the case of any extraordinary intellectual. If you then combine this aspect with a warm heart and a kindness that I continue to be equally as astonished by - you get this honestly ridiculously wonderful human that is Kim Namjoon. Why or how he decided to be an artist and not a scholar is really our luck. I have learned so many things from him already and I'm convinced that he'll continue to teach me things about life, that will help me on my own path forward and onwards..

It's very difficult not to talk more about the members when discussing this topic of private versus public spaces and how to navigate them in this day and age. But this post is already too long, so I'll continue in a another one.

BORAHAE 💜



Monday, 28 October 2024

Welcome to my purple world

Dear ARMY and non-ARMY alike (or should I say "muggles" as Namjoon likes to call you :D)
I imagine that only refers to the fact that you aren't in the know - and not as a derogatory term in any sense :))

I've been wanting to write about my purple* experience for a while now. But whenever I think of where to even begin, I get overwhelmed. There's a lot I want to say - or possibly more so echo as I know I'm not the only one out there with these thoughts. 

*The colour purple is a promise of love and support between BTS and ARMY, and so whenever I talk of this bond I like to do so with the colour reference.

First of all, I should state that being part of a meaningful fan-community like the BTS ARMY is SO MUCH MORE than just liking and supporting the guys by streaming their music, going to their concerts and buying their albums and merch. But that probably goes without saying or else I wouldn't have written this entire post - or the posts that I hope to come.

Second of all, BTS (or Bangtan Sonyeondan as they are known as in the kpop sphere) has gone above and beyond in terms of writing history not just within the korean music industry or the asian music industry - but on a global scale. They've collected numerous daesangs (grand prices) from asian award shows as well as a growing number of grammy nominations - though they've yet to win a grammy (a heavyly discussed topic within the fandom). 

When you look at any sort of numbers surrounding the Bangtan boys (as I like to call them) - you can tell that they're are not an ordinary band or music group. They are not your average kpop idol or boy band in the western sense. Their music videos gathers hundreds of thousands of views, they have entered the "billions club" on spotify in terms of streams, their youtube account has 70+ million subscribers, they each have 40-50 million followers on instagram. Their free concert in Busan in 2022 had a digital audience of about 60+ million when it crashed two songs in - I was there to witness the massive numbers grow and grow, and also there to curse at my screen when the online platform suddenly couldn't handle it anymore.

They've also spoken at the UN on three separate occasions. First in 2018 with their Love Yourself campaign, then in 2020 for the graduating class of 2020 whilst covid was raging and again in 2021 as presidential envoys of youth and culture - a titel given to them by the korean government. AND on top of that they've spoken at the white house as part of the anti-asian hate campaign. So they've also been recognised outside of the music world, as people of major positive influence.

Now, all of these achievements makes me very very proud to be part of this community - and very proud of the boys, of course. But compared to the kind of people that they all are, and the way they carry themselves as artists - this is really just icing on the cake in my purpled opinion. 

What I wanted to say with all of that, by mentioning some of their biggest moments in the objective sense, is that they're very unusual. And in THAT sense they're a fascinating group to study - and to reflect upon and with continuously as I myself walk on my own path forward, conscious of the fact that my path are parallelled to their paths as we belong to the very same generation. I'm the same age as Jimin and Taehyung (V), only a year younger than Namjoon (RM) and Hobi (J-Hope), two years younger than Yoongi (Suga), three years younger than Jin and two years older than JK (Jung Kook). This means that we're the same generation. And that we'll experience similar life things at around the same time. Obviously, I'm not a global superstar or a billionaire, so my lifestyle is vastly different - but in terms of being a human we really do walk on parallelled paths. And this is enourmously encouraging to me.

"Why?" you may ask, because they share so much of their life and artistry with us. The bond is indescribably strong between artist and fandom in this instance, and I think that has everything to do with the fact that they don't treat us as fans - they treat us as friends, as equals, as partners. We are
much more so a community than a fandom, if you look at how they address us and the kinds of events and projects we engage in as ARMY. We make sure that the values that we share (and that the boys express through their music), is at the forefront of everything we do in the name of ARMY. We are in many ways an extension of the values they put out. The topic of ARMY-related projects is a whole chapter in and of itself though, which I would love to talk about in another post.

The bond between artist and fandom resulting in this massive global community is another chapter, which I would love to get into. "How do you know you're ARMY?",  "Do you have to engage in political-alike projects to be part of this community?", "What does it mean to feel their support?",
"How do you know the support goes both ways?",  "What does an exchange of energies really mean?" I get these kinds of questions a lot, when I start to open up about my ARMY experience. And they can be really difficult to answer in any sort of short-form. It's a lot easier to show it through professional talks,
interviews, concerts, fanmade videos etc. But I do want to be able to answer well to these type of questions. And I want to do so in a way, where I don't gloss over important aspects or get discouraged by ignorance or misunderstandings. After all we are dealing with a lot of complicated concepts here. 

Among others being:
- "Parasocial relationships" are not new, but they've gained a different kind of significance with the internet, youtube and social media.
- "Digital communities across cultures and continents" again the internet is at the heart, but when millions move as one, the power and influence is undeniable.
- A "sense of belonging" is central to any human experience. More and more people feel lonely and separate from their own realities because of the very same digital impact, but also because of the pace of modern life: we neglect ourselves in order to serve our society and play our roles right.
- Music is a form of unity and healing, a place where we go to find refuge. The sense of togetherness you feel at concerts is even stronger when a bond has been forged between you and the artist.
- Being a small purple fish in a big purple lake is sometimes easier than being a conscious human in a vast universe. A shrunken reality is easier to relate to than an indefinite one.

Okay, this is a strange place to end at. But I think this will do in terms of introductions. 

Welcome to my purple world 💜


Sunday, 17 May 2020

We're All Animals Out In The Dark





 Tell me to shake it off and swing from the lights












And you threw stones at the starlight
Cause I stood on the sidelines











And we will walk with our feet on the ground











And I feel life for the very first time











So feel the love and let it in











We be walking
On the water










Swing me your bones








DRIVE - Adult Life Skills
LANDSLIDE - Wild Rose
BODY GOLD - Little Women
TECHNICOLOUR BEAT - 50/50
HEART HOPE - Brittany Runs a Marathon
TECHNICOLOUR BEAT - Camper 303
TECHNICOLOUR BEAT - Maggie's Plan

Musik af Oh Wonder.

Thursday, 16 May 2019

Kontroltab, angst og kvalme

Det er næppe tilfældigt, at angsten kom præcist samtidig med, at jeg startede på Konservatoriet, 
netop da jeg overgav mig til musikken; til uvisheden og til en verden uden facitlister. 
En verden af mavefornemmelser og følen-sig-frem. 

Jeg var vanvittig bange for at miste kontrollen, og det gjorde jeg netop dér, 
da jeg gav mig hen til musikken. 

Da jeg startede på Konservatoriet og gav efter for flodbølgen af musik, var der ingen vej tilbage, 
og det hænger netop sammen med dette:
 musikken og det kontroltab, den repræsenterede, kastede mig ud i en gedigen krise, 
og den eneste vej ud af krisen var at søge længere ind i musikken 

og blive venner med hele lortet: med kontroltabet og angsten og kvalmen. 




citat fra 'TÆL TIL TINA' (Tina Dickow)


Monday, 6 May 2019

At have klare og unuanceret meninger


"Du får ikke en skudsikker og entydig mening om noget som helst fra mig, 
og du får ikke en stribe klokkeklare synspunkter om mennesker, om politik eller om livet 
i bite-size tweets herfra. Sådan fungerer jeg ikke. 

Hvis jeg har en helt klar og unuanceret mening om noget eller nogen, 
så fortæller det mig med det samme, at jeg nok ikke har forstået sagen eller vedkommende til bunds. 

At forstå noget til bunds vil efter min bedste overbevisning 
altid medføre et nuanceret udsyn med plads til tvivl og til samtale - 
og jeg undrer mig ofte over, at stort set alle de mennesker, 
der fylder medierne og vores feeds på de sociale medier, 
synes fuldstændig sikre i deres sag og synspunkter. 

Det er aldrig et godt tegn i min bog."


(Tæl til Tina - Tina Dickow, s. 119)