Dear Namjoon

Life has been a lot lately, so thank you for your letter. I sometimes feel like I'm able to breathe properly again after reading through the letters you've been writing to us. It might sound a bit dramatic, but you just get it - you get how truly complicated it is to be human and how complicated it is to navigate your path through life. 

You phrase it as questions: As someone who creates music, what am I making, and what are people hearing? What are we all looking at, and what are we choosing to love? What kind of determination did I have when I stood in front of you all?

I always come back to this, when I struggle to navigate my own path. What is it I hold onto? What is it that ties me to this existence? to this Earth and to being alive right now? (other than my biological existence). What keeps me sane and grounded, is another way to ask this question. Why did I choose this path in the first place? Probably because it made me happier and more comfortable with my own existence - than if I hadn't chosen this path. 

It makes sense to me that you'd be asking these questions now. You are in an in-between currently, where military life is slowly coming to and end but civilian life hasn't yet started. 18 months is a long time to be away from what you love and this path which you've continuously chosen to walk on. It's only natural that these questions pop up, and that you may feel more hesitant in your answers than possibly ever before. You've also never really been given the opportunity to ask these questions in any kind of in-between space, as you've always had cameras directed at your face - ever since you chose this path almost 12 years ago. From where I stand there must be some sort of freedom in that? It must be freeing to be able to ask such questions from an almost outsider-like perspective? Though of course I cannot know for sure, as I'll never truly know what it feels like to be you. 

What I do know is that life keeps changing. You choose you path but you can never fully know the twists and turns it'll take. 

March has been a reminder for me of exactly that. We're continuously learning how to navigate this path as we grow older and hopefully a tad wiser. And I took a hit of "ohhhh right" this month, as I was given another opportunity to look through my life wearing completely different spectacles. It made me realise once again that we never ever stop growing and changing and adding puzzle pieces to our colourful existence. And that we should always always always stay humble, when our path takes an unexpected turn - because usually it will be another significant opportunity to grow and learn and move forward. If we wave our hand and look away, the opportunity may not find its way back to us and thus we do not get to add that particular colour to our beautifully woven tapestry. 

I have this probably naive idea of life getting easier the older you get, though it may just be another thing for me to hold onto as I drift through outer space. The idea is based on the concept that life gifts you with experience as time passes, and this experience helps you to navigate your path a little easier. I've always found life to be overwhelming and incredibly difficult to live, and if experience is the key to an easier life - then I want as many and varied life experiences as I can possibly get! This is how my calculations went. I was obsessed with this idea for a couple of years, to the point that I would go around saying "I won't reach my perfect stage of life till I turn 80 years old. My youth was rubbish but I'll turn golden with old age." And to some extend I still believe this, maybe not as fiercely as I did then, but I do like getting older. I feel more myself the older I get, however weird that may sound. I feel less anxious, less insecure, less self-conscious, less lost, less overwhelmed etc. And in turn my tapestry becomes more and more colourful. 

Lately, I've been reading Erich Fromm's 'the Art of Loving,' which I've been putting off for a while. But 'the art of love' - what does that even mean? Can love really be something you practice? The point of the book is: We put in hours of practice to get better at painting, playing guitar or studying...But when it comes to love, the most important thing in life, we just expect to do it naturally, with no effort.  Modern society glorifies love as just intense emotions and dramatic moments, but in reality love is about commitment, promises and decisions. Love has different types, different temperatures, different expressions. And for us -- where love isn't one-on-one, but one-to-many, many-to-one -- what does it really mean?

I don't know, Joon.. Maybe love's only purpose is to tie us together? To make us care about each other? I think you mentioned that once. But that doesn't really matter to me, what matters about our purple love: one-to-many/ many-to-one is that it makes all our lives easier and more enjoyable, right? Both for you and your brothers and for us. It makes life more enjoyable that we can share so many things with each other, that we can support each other as we individually navigate our own paths - that we can be vulnerable in each other's company and accept each other for who we all truly are (warts and all). To me the bigger questions are all incredibly interesting (I have a brain similar to yours), but they don't matter nearly as much - and thus it is okay, that we do not know how to answer them.

Time feels heavier here, like a gravity. It's going slow as hell, but even if you hang a military clock upside down, it still ticks. So I'll try flipping it upside down, spinning it 540 degress - whatever works. I'll take this time to realign my heart and thoughts before I return. I have so many stories to share both through music and words.

Spring is coming. No, actually it's already here! (Meanwhile I'm still shovelling 17 cm of snow...)

If you start feeling a little warm, just know that soon enough, I'll be back to bother you all relentlessly. Until then, live your best lives. Now, I'm off to finish my webtoon. 

I love you all, today and always. This is my decision and my promise.

I cannot bloody wait, Joon. I think I miss you more than I know, and I know that I miss you A LOT! This era's been strange in so many ways, but it has also taught us a lot about how to move forward. And I know that the day you finally reunite will be more overwhelming than any of us is prepared for 💜

 

(Thank you @BIGHIT_INFO for sharing a better translation of the letter than what Weverse are currently able to provide).

 

My take on the members: Hobi (j-hope)

j-hope is only really "j-hope" when he's on stage - or when he's promoting his music. The rest of the time we call him "hobi" - and by "we" I mean ARMY and the members. Hobi has many famous descriptors to his name, SUNSHINE and VITAMIN are probably the most common ones. He tends to fuel you with bright energy and good laughs. As baby-ARMY you quickly learn to single him out as "the loud one" or "the animated one" in american interviews or in a lot of their own content. The members see him as a necessary source of energy to have around - not just because of his vitamin-like aura but because of his relentless work ethic and meticulous professionalism.

He is "dance captain hobi" when instructing and helping his members to practice their choreographies - and because of that he's widely known as the group's second leader next to RM. With RM being the official spokesperson, the middle-man between label and the members + a key figure in their songwriting. Hobi is a key figure when it comes to anything performance-related. He did street dancing before he joined BigHit, and was thus one of the only members with actual dancing experience. When Bang PD decided to turn his hiphop crew (full of rappers) into an idol group, hobi became a key component. Hobi has thus been assisting their choreographer Son Sungdeuk in teaching the members all their choreos since debut days. Aside from his performance experience and expertise, RM has also credited hobi with second leader-duties when it comes to the emotional well-being of their members. Hobi can often come across as the glue of the group - you see him taking on mother-like responsibilities around his members: cleaning and organising as well as generally taking care of the members in a both practical and emotional sense. He'll throw a warmer piece of clothing to his younger brother, if they're heading outside in the cold - he'll clean up around his older brother, as he's busy cooking - he'll organise the camping van if they're away on a trip. He ALWAYS makes himself useful to the group in whichever way he can, and the members appreciate that much more so than I think he knows.

He's a structured and organised guy by nature. Maybe that's why it was easy for him to take on this mother-like role? But you blend that with his sunshine-like aura, and he becomes this extremely likeable guy. The guys call him the most professional one out of all of them, because he never complains and always shows up early and ready to take on the daily challenges with a smile. 

Another component that I would never ever fail to mention is his ambition. They're all incredibly ambitious artists, but sometimes it really feels like hobi is breathing fire... The way he talkes about his craft and how he thoroughly enjoys facing new challenges however big or small, is inspirational without a doubt, but it's also kinda scary. Remember Jack in the Box and Hobipalooza? He lost so much weigh and were barely able to eat and sleep properly during that month. This professional greed reminds me of Seventeen's Hoshi, who talks about his own career in a similar way - with fire blazing in his eyes. It feels like the flames cannot actually ever get too hot for the two of them, they're always going to feed the flames with more oxygen and load the fire with more firewood. I think of Jungkook in a similar way. The ceilings aren't ever tall enough... There's a certain type of excitement that accompanies that image - you see these people on stage and it's like they were legitimately born to perform in front of thousands. At the same time though if you flip the coin the repetitive motion of adding new oxygen to the flames and new firewood to the fire in a continuous cycle, feels utterly exhausting and draining. I'm convinced that to live this kinda life, you have to pay with bits of your soul along the way...

Not everyone is capable of maintaining this type of lifestyle. This is another reason why I'm continuously impressed by these guys, they've been doing THIS exact thing for almost 12 years now (though pause for military enlistments) and they STILL want to keep going. They have not had enough. They want more. Yes, things may not look the same as they used to. Bangtan 3.0 will be different. But their passion for music and performing have not changed. 

Okay, back to hobi. 

This guy is a master at what he does. He learned to rap from Yoongi and Namjoon in their pre-debut days. And now he's such a goddamn good rapper - I love the way he alwaysalways changes his flow mid-verse and how rhythm runs in his blood to the extend that he cannot make a song that doesn't have you grooving along, and tapping your fingers and feet. He has found his own sound and genre almost ? We all adore his melodic rap - and the way he can sing AND rap in the same song, without it seeming weird is (also) very impressive. 

Dancing is his foundations in so many ways. It informs the beats and melodies that he writes into his music, he rarely sits still, he communicates most effectively with movement - and it probably has some sort of input on his extraordinary fashion sense also...? or is that a stretch...?  

Post-discharge hobi is a whole adventure in and of himself. Just like jin, hobi has become an even better and cooler and more grounded version of himself after returning to civilian life. Also he seems to be walking all over JK's space with his 12-hour livestream and his sexy solo songs - as well as his increasingly more intimate ARMY interactions.. Now "challenge accepted" or what JK ?! Hobi is completely spoiling us in this era, and we're all completely loving it (massive understatement).

 

What a way to start our purpled 2025 !!! 💜